It’s so goofy that my Spotify 2020 Wrapped brought this on, yet here I am weeping with joy over habitual dependence on God this past year. This year has been nothing short of consistent struggles and trials throughout every month. I’ve faced financial victories, and heavy, heavy burdens. I’ve felt overwhelmed with God’s peace and filled with despair through some of the most trying times. Even in the past couple of weeks, it seems as though my day-to-day has been go-go-go. And in my downtime, I haven’t been choosing the Lord. I’ve secretly been rolling my eyes at literally every single person posting their Spotify Wrapped highlights… silly me.

2020 has been rough… BUT

This year has been full of hard times for so many people. But, what a beautiful gift God has given us in music. My truest and favorite way to connect with God is through worshipping him out loud. Locking myself in my room, whether I put headphones on or turn on a speaker and just blast affirmations unto the Lord. My soul leaps right into His arms and it’s just me and Him for however long I allow myself to rest there. It’s beautiful.

Tonight I opened up my Spotify seeking my Wrapped highlights, boy I had no idea what I was in for. I mentioned I’ve felt distant from the Lord recently, and all of a sudden, there was this wave of comfort and encouragement that washed over every part of my being. I couldn’t help but fall into tears. My number one song from this year is Another in the Fire by Hillsong UNITED. On my highlight it said, “One song helped you get through it all.” and then it showed this album cover. For those of you who haven’t listened to the song before, here’s the chorus.

There was another in the fire

Standing next to me

There was another in the waters

Holding back the seas

And should I ever need reminding

Of how I’ve been set free

There is a cross that bears the burden

Where another died for me

There is another in the fire

Another in the Fire – Hillsong UNITED

I mean wow.

I’m a little speechless. Without a doubt, 2020 has been a fire that continues to rage. How BLESSED are we that we truly have another in the fire with us, that being Jesus. We are not alone and have not been alone this whole year.

I’m writing this not in any way to be boastful but to say I have STRUGGLED this year. I’ve faced many different worldly struggles in addition to the mental struggles the enemy has been trying to force upon us with all the madness from this year. I think I immediately began weeping after seeing this because I have habitually turned to Jesus this year. 2020 is the first year in my life that I have really learned to turn in my control for pure dependence on Jesus. I have a control problem y’all, and sometimes it can consume.

But seriously the Lord has moved mountains in my heart this year and turned over dark places to make more room for Him. I wrote in my journal this morning that I’m thankful for His unconditional love, His protection, His provision, His favor upon me, and HIS control, not mine.

Dependence is tough.

At first, dependence on God can be really tough. It isn’t until you begin to see his faithfulness over time, rewarding your dependence but also encouraging you to keep on, that you truly understand the freedom that comes with dependence on the Lord. WOWIE is it freeing!!! Heck, I don’t stinking know what I’m doing with school right now or if I’m going to have an internship next summer, or a job after graduation, but y’all… I’m truly not worried about it because I have given up that control. I try my best to succeed, but truly just listen to where the Holy Spirit is leading me.

To be honest, the time I really worry about it is when I’m talking to other people. “What will they think when I tell them I don’t know what the heck is going on right now??” Ummm hello, Satan, please leave, I don’t have room for you to be invading my mind like that.

And with that…

All this to say, Spotify Wrapped highlights might be overrated, but this was such a sweet reminder from God. He’s truly taken care of me this year, and without a doubt, I have grown closer to Him. That’s all we can really hope for right? My top five songs from this year were also worship songs, and they’re so good. I guess that’s why they’re my most played, hahaha. I’ll link them here. My worship playlist is also linked in the top corner of my blog under the little Spotify icon.

Lauren’s Top 5 Songs from 2020

1. Another in the Fire – Hillsong UNITED
2. Spirit Lead Me – Influence Music
3. Seek – Citipointe Live
4. Lean Back – Capital City
5. Nothing Else – Cody Carnes

I pray this post has inspired Godly dependence in your heart, and that God uses this to bring you deeper into his heart.